Patience [and Impatience] is a Virtue.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

The popular proverb, “patience is a virtue” has been a popular idiom in my life as of recent. About a month ago I made the decision that all the variables, emotions and realities in my spirit decided that Nanuk and I would be leaving San Francisco. Our heart is in the natural world and we are best suited to be surrounded in these landscapes for the betterment of our physical and mental health. We <3 MTNS.

So if I made a decision why do I need to be patient? Well the waiting game is an annoying game. True I have learned through Buddhism that we as humans must sit with our thoughts and live in the moment. About a week before I was to move out of our apartment, I was contacted for a job at one of my dream companies. I applied for the job over three months ago and my head started spinning. Reflecting on this now, it wasn’t a feeling that I would have wanted to connect with when learning about such a great opportunity. What does this mean? Why is this happening now? Wait am I stressed about this? Why couldn’t I just be in the moment? It goes back to my practice and no doubt correlates to my admittedly, poor meditation practice as of recent. I couldn’t silent my thoughts for the fucking life of me. I was constantly questioning the universe, asking why --- why everything. Am I meant to stay in a city that I have been mentally checked out with for months?

I ended up interviewing twice with this company, (who err, makes really amazing mountable action sports cameras) and felt very good about the conversations I had with their employees.

So here is when I think that patience and impatience can both be virtues.

This interview truly turned my world upside down because I allowed it to. I focused so much on the fucking meaning of why, instead of patiently allowing the universe to guide me.

It is a wise virtue to wait patiently in many situations but if someone waited patiently without doing anything past a certain point then they could miss the right time to act. Impatience protects us from the imbalance of complacency.

So we need to be patient and impatient?

I believe the two balance each other out when one or the other is too extreme.

I was moving at 100mph, I couldn’t leave the city fast enough. Then I was in the middle of moving, trying to find a temporary shelter for Nanuk and I, while studying for this interview; I was impatient to the extreme. I just wanted answers. Seeking for this ultimately made me realize that I need to slow down. Slow down my fears, stress and overall hope of receiving ‘instant gratification.’

Even as I’m writing this I have learned so much! Fuck yes!!!!

It was either I got the job and moved to San Mateo, or I didn’t and I would continue my journey back to Boulder. A friend told me, “you’re really living on the edge.” Maybe. But we are never given anything that we can’t handle.

So basically the only variable I had to play was the waiting game, a game of patience. I realized that I acted on the urge to pursue these opportunities, (impatience) but learned to quiet my vices in order to get the most out of this situation, (patience).

I was interviewed twice and eventually became comfortable with time in all its aspects. I knew that I no longer had control of the situation and that was a relief as well. Ultimately I realized I was completely comfortable with both of the possible outcomes. Sure I was in a pickle but this was not a bad position to be in. A rad job or returning to the most beautiful place in the US of A?

It’s difficult at times to slow down our minds and readjust our focus during the moments when we are tested. I’ve learned a great deal about myself through this experience and will continue to pursue life with my intuition, love and sense of adventure.

[So with that]

Colorado, we’re coming home. See you in less than two weeks. !!!

xx TCW

#sanfrancisco #california #moving #city #blog #buddhism #experience